Picture this: Tom vs. Arnold

By Ted Reinstein | December 10, 2004

WITH THE 2004 presidential election receding into the nation's rear-view mirror, there's already chatter about what might happen further up the road. As in 2008. Some Democrats are even throwing names around. At least Michael Moore is. Recently, Moore speculated about Tom Hanks becoming president of the United States.

"Americans want to vote for someone that they trust, that they like, that has a friendly face," Moore said. "Americans love celebrities, they love movie stars, and when they get the chance to vote for them, they do." He may be on to something. Look at the popularity of actor-turned-governor-turned-president Ronald Reagan. And of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Maybe it's time the Democrats tapped Hollywood, too. The Republicans already blame them for being too cozy with Hollywood -- why not go all the way? Besides, it's not as if the last two candidates out of Washington have brought the Democrats any success. At least Tom Hanks (two Oscars) has actually won something. And in the star of "Castaway," the Democrats would have someone who knows a thing or two about suffering a terrible setback, being hopelessly out of touch, and scrambling desperately to be rescued.

Of course, with Bush now a lame duck, Republicans are also throwing names around. Like Schwarzenegger. Unfortunately for this native Austrian, Article II of the US Constitution stipulates that only "natural born" citizens are eligible to become president. But to some Republicans, only girly-men would be discouraged by this minor obstacle.

Indeed, discussions have begun about passing what would be the 28th Amendment. Some of Arnold's supporters have even taken to wearing "Amend for Arnold" buttons. Perhaps it might become known as the "Ahnold Ahmendment."

Think of it, then: Hanks vs. Schwarzenegger. The first all-actor presidential contest. Woody versus The Terminator. Lights! Camera! Election! Both men could run on impressive screen biographies. Forget the New Deal, the Square Deal, or the Real Deal of campaigns past -- this one would be the Multi-Picture Deal. And campaign strategists would no doubt take full advantage. Exit polls outside Blockbuster. Siskel and Roeper joining Carlson and Carville on "Crossfire."

On terrorism and homeland security, Arnold would run as the tough guy, morphing from "The Governator" into "The Presidentator" It might play at home, but not in Europe, where our allies, already put off by America's unilateral muscularity, won't be soothed by images of Arnold in "Conan the Barbarian." For that matter, the French may not want to rent "Collateral Damage" either.

On the other hand, Arnold can always brand unflattering portrayals of himself as "True Lies." And he can promise a vigorously engaged foreign policy by reminding voters he's been "Around the World in 80 Days."

For Hanks, there would also be a downside to running on movie credits rather than a voting record. Let's face it, "Toy Story" and "The Polar Express" don't have the manly resonance of "The Terminator" and "Stay Hungry." Nor will Democratic strategists want to play up the haplessness of "Forrest Gump" or the inanity of "Turner & Hooch."

But on the plus side, "Philadelphia" is bound to help keep one swing state in the blue column. Likewise, "Sleepless in Seattle" should minimize any drift in Washington state. "Saving Private Ryan" and "Apollo 13" both appeal to patriotic impulses, "The Terminal" can offer a leg up on airport security, and frankly, "Catch Me if You Can" would make a great campaign slogan.

There's more. Imagine how Republicans would use Hanks's "The Road to Perdition" to remind red-staters about those Godless liberal heathens. And considering how he came into office (a 2002 voter recall of Democratic Governor Gray Davis), Schwarzenegger might be wary of an October surprise in the form of a re-release of "Total Recall."

Alas, the chances appear slim for this made-for-Hollywood Washington match-up -- or made-for-Washington Hollywood match-up. Schwarzenegger not only says he has no intention of running for president, he can't -- unless the Constitution is changed.

And Hanks says, "That will never, ever, ever happen." But then, Hanks has been involved in stranger plot twists. Ever see "Big"?

Ted Reinstein is a reporter/producer for WCVB-TV's "Chronicle."